the day my middle girl danced

Last weekend we attended Kenna's dance recital. I wish I could show you more pictures of her on stage (but I have a thing about not posting pictures of other people's children online without their permission.) I wish I could show you how perfectly she knew the steps, how she pointed her toes, and held her arms straight while her classmates, I must say, were kind of flailing all over the place. Yes, of course I'm biased, they were cute as can be, and honestly she could have flailed all over the place too and I still would have loved every second of it. She's five, that's what I expected, but she didn't flail. She was amazing.
And she has no idea.
She simply did the steps like she was told even though she really wanted to be backstage playing the princess dress-up game on my phone. She danced the dance she had practiced a hundred times on a stage that wasn't what she had hoped for (a tv studio stage is kind of a let down after watching your cousin dance in a historic theater with bulb lights and balconies!) My girl with the disney princess face, lit up that stage and took her mama completely by surprise.
Earlier in the week, as I sat with my own mom in the studio during dress rehearsal, I was telling her how "over it" I already felt when in came to dance. "I am not cut out to be a dance mom", I said. Kenna wants to try gymnastics or soccer and I'm ready for a sport that doesn't involve $80 a pop costumes and classes I don't get to watch and recitals I get to watch only if I can fork over $50 for tickets. I'm happy to let her move on. During those hours of waiting backstage and moments of unease as I looked at my five-year-old with her made-up face and painted lips, it was easy to say no more.
After seeing her dance, well, it wasn't as easy.
I had realized it wasn't just about the dance, and I knew it was worth it. It was worth it to see how she had been a cheerful learner, how well she had obeyed her teacher, how she had worked with classmates to present something beautiful, how she shared her toys with them backstage, how she had smiled so big when she asked, "Did Daddy see me?"
I'm proud of my daughter and what she accomplished. I'm in awe of her beauty and sweetness. I'm glad we had this experience. I'm a middle girl mom so thankful for the gift of my own middle girl, praying that I can mother her in a way that is glorifying to the One that created her and loves her more than I ever will. More than I... when already every day that I love her, I love her more than I ever thought possible.

{my backstage view at dress rehearsal - kenna is front row, second from the right}