coming clean

I want to tell you about something. I've been putting it off because it's something that can all too quickly wander into TMI territory and this is just not that kind of blog. But I haven't been blogging much because of it so I want to be honest, but as brief as I can.
I've been sick for a very long time.
I've been hesitant to share about it here because, well, I didn't know how, or what, or why...Any attempt to talk about it just felt like whining. And probably was.
I didn't know what was wrong, I just knew that I didn't feel right.
Since Kate was born, I've had a list of various issues from head to toe that have baffled doctors and dermatologists and my husband (oh my poor husband.) I knew the problem was rooted in my hormones, but no one had real answers. I've seen doctors in two different states that could only offer sympathetic nods, puzzled looks, concerned head shakes...and then send me away with a band aid for my sucking chest wound. That's how it felt anyway.
I've known for a long time that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), but several months ago I began reading about something called Adrenal Fatigue, and the more I read the more I felt like I was reading about me. I began taking an adrenal cortex supplement, fish oils, more vitamins, and watching my sugar (although not as vigilantly as my sister who tells about kicking her sugar habit for good HERE). Still, I was feeling worse every week. Exhausted, moody, irritable, nauseous, dizzy...just to name a few. When I heard about a homeopathic doctor here in town who specializes in women's hormonal health, I was happy to jump through all the necessary hoops required to get a referral and appointment. I had a saliva hormone test done and upon reading the results, my new favorite doctor's words to me were, "the good news is, you can leave here today knowing that you are not crazy." No joke, that's exactly what he said. Music to my ears.
As it turns out, I do have adrenal fatigue but have additionally developed a severe hormone imbalance. This time the sympathetic nod was genuine and it was followed by real answers and real help.
I began what will be a long but natural journey back to health.
It's been a few weeks now and with a natural progesterone added to my growing list of supplements, I'm feeling better every day. I'm making changes that I'll fill you in on more over time. Hormones are only one part of the equation so while I'm feeling better, I know my body has a long way to go before it is healed. And that healing is only going to come through rest, good nutrition, and a healthy home.
I've cut a lot of things from my diet, including all caffeine and sugar -and I do mean all. I've replaced them with herbs, vitamins in numbers I never would have thought possible, and a whole, whole, whole lot of this...

So I'm OK. There's more to this story but I'm still processing. I'm resting. Most of all, I'm hopeful -and that feels really good.